There are some people who will feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is not abusive, while there will be other people who will not. Therefore, if someone who can relate to the first one ends up with someone who is abusive, they would probably leave soon.

And, if someone who can relate to the latter was to finish with someone who is not abusive, there is a great chance that they will also walk. This may be hard to believe, because of what happened in the past.

A common perspective

When someone has a tendency to end abusive people, it can be normal to be seen as a victim. Therefore, they simply end up with people who are abusive.

It is then as if they would like to take the opportunity to be with someone different, taking advantage of this opportunity with both hands. The problem with this point of view is that it does not look at what part this person is playing in all of this.

Run over

If someone like this were asked this question, they might end up believing that they are being blamed for what they have gone through. This will be an example of “victim blaming,” and your inner world could end up filled with anger and even anger.

What this would show is that they have ended up being defensive, which will make it difficult for them to reach them. In fact, it could make it impossible to do so, and this may mean that this person will continue to behave in the same way.

Two options

If they were to continue as usual, it is unlikely that their life will simply change. But, since they see themselves as a victim and believe that there are people who want to victimize them, this is not a big surprise.

Alternatively, if they take the time to reflect on the fact that they play a role in what they attract, they can gradually change their circumstances. This will not be easy, but what it will do is allow them to transform their lives.

An opportunity

So, let’s say that someone like this should get in touch with someone who is different, and they ended up in a relationship together. Some of them may feel comfortable with what is happening, while another party probably will not.

Now, what can define what will happen next is how aware they are of what is happening within them. If you could tune in to the part of yourself that you do not feel comfortable with, it will give you the opportunity to do something about it.

A distraction

What can prevent them from relating to what they really feel is if they become too attached to what is happening in their minds. This part of the can propose all kinds of reasons why this person is not suitable for them.

Even so, this will only lead to problems if they get caught up in what translates into this part of them. For example, your mind could say that this person is not a good partner, or that they are bored.

Running away

If they were caught in what this part of them says and would ignore the part of them that wants to stay, they could end the relationship soon. They may even end up coming back with an abusive ex.

Being with someone like this will make it harder for them to feel at peace, but it will be what they feel comfortable with. However, this will give them the opportunity to see that a large part of them feels at home with someone like this.

In the background

If you stay with someone who is healthy and connected with what they feel, instead of getting caught up in what is going on in their minds, what they may find is that they do not feel that they deserve to be with someone like this. And even though there will be Of course, this person is not a threat to their survival, they may discover that they do not feel safe either.

When they are with someone who is abusive, a large part of them will feel comfortable. Not only will this be what you think you deserve, but being with someone who is unpredictable will, oddly enough, make you feel safe.

The ideal

Naturally, it will be much better for one to stay with someone who is healthy and work on whatever comes up, to end the relationship and get back to someone who is abusive. This is something that can happen with the help of a therapist or a healer, for example.

If they can not do this, they may need to spend a little more time with someone who treats them badly until they get to the point. What happened to the person who was different will have made it clear that not everyone is the same.


It will be as if a seed had been planted in your mind, and this seed will remain there until it is able to grow into something else, something bigger. In order for it to grow, it will be necessary to maintain a functional relationship.